


Together Forever (In Sickness and In Health)

by Tahlruil



Series: Babbling Bucky Barnes [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes whump, Did I mention angst, Eloping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Tony, Lashing Out, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Bucky Barnes, Regret, Some Babbling Bucky, Some Fluff, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 10:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13456611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: Howard and Maria Stark have never really involved themselves in Tony and Bucky's lives or relationship. He's been with Tony for almost two years and he can count on his fingers the number of times he's even seen Tony's 'parents'. It sort of sucks, but Bucky's used to it. Besides, he sees Jarvis and Ana regularly, and they've always seemed more like Tony's mother and father.When Howard and Maria finally take an interest in finding out where Bucky and Tony's relationship is heading, it sets off a chain of events that Bucky could never have predicted. Their seemingly solid foundation is shaken, their relationship is threatened, and Bucky is just trying to keep everything together.Getting that gaggle of geese might not have been necessary after all.





	Together Forever (In Sickness and In Health)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tarot_card](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarot_card/gifts).



> So I broke my own heart writing this, which was... fun. It's pretty different from the first part of the series, please be warned!
> 
> This was commissioned by dayzor over on Tumblr (tarot_card here) where I will post this probably later tonight. I hope I delivered on what I was asked for!
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D Leave a comment maybe?

"I don't know who the _hell_ they think they are, saying things like that about you. Like either of them has _any_ fucking room to talk when it comes to relationships. What the fucking fuck? It's bullshit, it's such absolute bullshit."

Tony was still fuming, and Bucky wasn't complete sure how to react. Dinner with Tony's parents had ended a few hours ago, but Tony hadn't calmed down at all. Instead he seemed to be working himself up more and more as he ranted. Bucky didn't even really know if that rant was directed towards Bucky, himself, or thin air. Mostly his boyfriend had been pacing with his hands gesticulating wildly. When he started to tug at his hair hard enough that it looked like it was painful, however, Bucky stepped in.

Putting himself in front of Tony, he reached up and took gentle hold of Tony's wrists. "Hey," he said quietly as he stroked his thumbs up over the heel of Tony's palms, trying to soothe him at least a little. "I know you're upset and I get it, but let's--"

"Why are you not upset?" Tony demanded with a scowl. He did let Bucky guide his hands away from his hair until Bucky was holding them to his chest, so that was something. His fingers even took hold of Bucky's shirt, anchoring there, so Bucky felt safe to start running his hands up and down Tony's forearms. "They were being _awful_ to you. They had no right to be that way. How long have we been together now?"

Some people might get upset by the question or the way Tony genuinely didn't know the answer, but Bucky just smiled and gave Tony's elbows a squeeze. "Just about two years, which is part of why I'm not mad. I know that we're good, you know that we're good, and what they think about that doesn't matter. I'd be a lot more upset if Jarvis or his Ana thought--"

"Please, they love you," Tony interrupted again, fingers tightening in Bucky's shirt. "They would never... _fuck_ Howard. And fuck my mom too for just sitting there when he was being awful and then trying to talk me out of being with you while you were out of the room."

"You don't mean that," Bucky said quietly, smiling a little when Tony snorted. "Not about Maria, at least. She's just trying to look out for you. I'm not..." he paused, trying to search for the right words. Especially because Tony's parents hadn't been exactly wrong. "I'm not what they want for you, and I get that. I'm a mechanic who works out of a dinky place attached to a woodworking shop. I only barely made it through high school--"

"Because you weren't interested, not because you aren't smart," Tony insisted fiercely.

"Thanks for thinking so, but maybe let me talk for a while?" Bucky watched Tony as he reviewed the conversation, saw an embarrassed look cross his expression and then he nodded. "Thanks," he said, leaning forward to give Tony a quick kiss. "I understand why you're upset - I get it, swear to God I do. But I also kinda see where they're coming from. You see my good points, and that's great because I love you and losing you would kill me. For people not in this relationship with us? I can see where they would think I'm not good enough for you."

Tony visibly restrained himself from talking, waiting to see if Bucky was done. As a bit of positive reinforcement, Bucky gave him another kiss. When he resumed running his hands up and down Tony's arms, his boyfriend realized he was done and responded. "But you _are_. You're perfect for me - I can't imagine anyone better," Tony said, causing warmth and fondness to curl around Bucky's heart. "You talk my language when it comes to tools and my work, which is great. And you don't mind that I'm still terrible at being an adult human person."

"You're getting a lot better though. And like I said - we know that we're good together. Our friends know it. Your parents? They aren't exactly around us often enough for them to see that."

"Well we sure as shit aren't going to be spending any more time around them. Fuck 'em."

"Again, you don't mean that about your mom."

"Right now I do. She said--"

"I know what she said," he interrupted quietly, not wanting Tony to get himself all worked up again. The evening really had been a disaster from start to finish. Howard had started dinner off by asking Bucky what he could offer his son; flustered, Bucky had blurted out 'I'm good with dishwashers', which was apparently not the right answer. Then had come questions about his job and his intentions toward Tony and his education level... and they were all coming too late, in Bucky's opinion. Jarvis had (gently, tactfully) probed for those answers the third time he had met Bucky. He and Tony had been together for two years in a month and a half; Howard was really late for the party.

That hadn't hurt as much as what he had overheard a little later. Maria had asked him to go fetch dessert from the kitchen. It was weird, but he had figured she wanted to correct Howard's behavior in private. Instead, when he had returned and was just outside the diningroom he heard her trying to talk Tony into leaving him. 'He's just not good enough for you,' she had said in her soft, cultured voice. 'And darling, he can't ever give you children. I was tolerant when you started seeing him, but really. You need to stop wasting your time and let us introduce you to some nice young women who have the right breeding to marry into this family'.

Which was when Tony lost his shit. He had said many of the same things he had just been ranting about, only louder and with even more swearing. When Bucky heard him start yelling about how his parents had never cared about anything he had done before, he knew things were going to get really ugly if he didn't intervene. That had gotten him out of his frozen state and he hurried back into the dining room. Before he could try and get things calmed down though, Tony had caught sight of him. It had shut him up, jaw ticking as he stalked toward Bucky; he had even knocked the pie out of Bucky's hands before grabbing hold of his wrist and storming out.

It had sucked, really. Both Howard and Maria had managed to dig at his weakest, sorest spots when it came to his relationship with Tony. As much as he loved Tony, Bucky knew that he wasn't exactly a catch. Tony did deserve better, absolutely, but that was for _Tony_ to decide. So Bucky was his, for as long as Tony would have him. Tony's parents clearly didn't feel the same way about letting Tony make his own choices, and Bucky knew that Tony was feeling hurt and betrayed, and angry about both.

He also knew that Tony loved his mom, who he always said was trying her best.

"Maria loves you and she wants what's best for you. You two just don't see eye to eye on what that is. She'll get over it eventually, and I would hate for you to ruin your relationship with her for me. Give her time - she'll see someday that everything I do is for you."

Tony melted, just like Bucky knew he would. His hands let go of Bucky's shirt and slid down so he could wrap his arms around Bucky's waist. Bucky reeled him in and wrapped Tony up in a warm hug, swaying gently. "She shouldn't have said those things," Tony said quietly. The anger seemed to have left him, and now he just seemed tired and maybe a little sad. "The fact that I love you and you love me should be enough."

"Like I said, give her some time. I think maybe she and Howard didn't realize that we were serious." Thank God the crisis seemed to be over, and Bucky had managed to keep it together. He hadn't even needed note cards, and he hadn't gone stumbling around his words like he didn't know how to use them right. It was easier for him to keep it together when Tony was falling apart, he had noticed; a weird trade-off, but one he could accept if it meant he could be there for Tony.

"Yeah. I guess they didn't." For one soft, wonderful moment they stood in each other's arms, seeking and offering comfort. Then, without warning, Tony pulled away. Bucky saw the manic gleam in his eyes and the wicked grin on his lips, and knew that things were about to take a turn. "Let's show them we're serious, my darling crumpet."

Bucky blamed Ana Jarvis for the weird food items Tony called him sometimes.

"Tony, the only way to show them is to--"

"Get married!"

Bucky's mind, heart, lungs... his everything clenched and came to a complete standstill. It wasn't that he hadn't thought of marriage, because he definitely had. There was even a ring that he was saving up for, one that he had shown to both Stevie and Jarvis. Both had approved, and Bucky was almost to the point where he could afford it. He had a whole little box of note cards devoted to the topic, and he had really thought that he would be the one to pop the question. It was going to be romantic as fuck, with flowers and candles and shit. Now Tony had jumped the gun, and all his careful planning was turned on its head.

"I need my notes and some geese," is what he managed eventually. "Shit. Where do you even get geese at this time of... Jarvis and I agreed that a horse wasn't... he doesn't have anywhere to keep it. Plus they're expensive and I can't afford one. If we still lived in a bartering economy-- fuck. That's not the point even if the economy is down the tubes and we should probably get rid of money, and there I go again. The point, Tony, is that I have no geese and my note cards are at work where you won't snoop. How am I supposed to marry you without geese, Tony? Huh?"

Now it was him running his hands through his hair as he got himself worked up. He had jinxed the hell out of himself with that whole patting himself on the back for not turning into a babbling mess. Just. Fuck.

"Bucky-babe, you don't need geese," Tony interrupted, which was easy for him to say. He hadn't been the one to promise geese to Jarvis, had he? No. And now Bucky had no geese, no ring, and no notes. How the hell was he supposed to get through this? "Especially not since we're going to elope!"

Another space of time where his whole body froze, because what? "Elope?" he asked through numb lips.

"Yeah, you know - the thing where you run away to be married."

"I know what eloping is, Tony. And yeah, it seems romantic and spontaneous and I would love to be your husband, but--"

"Buck. Bucky-babe. My little macaroon. Don't you want to marry me?" Tony was looking at Bucky from underneath his eyelashes, and that wad dirty pool. Tony _knew_ what that look did to him. "Because I want to marry you. I love you, and we've been living together for forever, and I thought we were getting close to that point. So don't you want to?"

"I still love your sleepy face," Bucky said, knowing his eyes were wide as he kept them on Tony's. "And I'm even better with dishwashers than I used to be." This was not how this was supposed to go down. Mayday, mayday, abandon ship. Shit. He was supposed to have his goddamn note cards. "Would you be like, super mad if I... no you would, because I would. So let's do this thing now. Gimme a sec to visualize, okay?" Tony looked doubtful but willing to wait, so Bucky took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he tried to picture his first note card.

That was a fucking mistake, because it was messy, words scrawled along the lines and squeezed in along the sides, and it was almost as babble-y as he was. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. It was the only one he could see clearly, and this was just ridiculous.

"Okay. So. We've been together for a year and a half... no. Shit. I wrote this one before... uh. I mean. Look. I love you even when you're being difficult, you know? Like when you got lost that one time and wouldn't turn on the GPS because you 'knew where we were' and it was such bullshit, and this is not the right way to... I need geese, Tony, and my note cards. I had to buy fucking note cards to deal with you, because I just see your face and sometimes my words still don't work right and my mouth just doesn't know how to shut up and it's just the stupidest thing."

When he opened his eyes, Tony was beaming at him - he still loved when Bucky lost his grasp of the English language around him.

"Gonna learn Russian from Nat. At least if I talked to you in that I'd have an excuse. Fuck. Which we do very well, the fucking - not that it's always fucking! We do that whole making love thing pretty well too, and the things you can do with your tongue are just... not why I want to marry you. It's a good bonus though. I had a ring picked out, Tony," he said, knowing he sounded a bit peeved, which he was. "I'm like, three months away from getting it."

"You have a ring picked out?" Tony asked, voice sounding a bit wavery and his eyes looking a little over-bright. "You were really going to propose?"

"Yeah? I mean, I love you and--" Being cut off by a kiss was way better than Tony interrupting him with words. Words were stupid, just like his traitor mouth. Except his mouth was a lot better when it came to kissing Tony, so he guessed it was alright.

Tony was eager and happy, so the kiss turned into a really great make-out session. Bucky stumbled a bit when he tried to guide the both of them to the couch without coming up for air, but that was fine. Tony loved being the one to make Bucky stumble. By the time their kisses slowed from frantic passion to soft and tender, Tony was tucked into Bucky's lap which was where he belonged, really.

"We're eloping," Tony told him firmly. "You want to marry me, I want to marry you, we're fucking eloping."

"Can't get married without Stevie," Bucky said, trying not to be distracted by Tony's neck and the urge to leave his mark there. Tony didn't like it when he had bruises above his collar. "And don't you want Jarvis and Ana there? And your parents? What about Rhodey?"

"My parents are _not_ invited," Tony growled, expression turning fierce again. "Fuck them, remember? They don't believe in us, so they don't get to watch us get married." Bucky thought pissing off Tony's parents was a really shitty reason to tie the knot, but he _did_ want to be married to Tony. Maybe seeing some of that in his face, Tony cupped his cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. "In a year or so we'll do a big vow renewal ceremony for all our friends, and I guess they can come to that. But I only want people at the ceremony who believe in _us_. So fuck my parents. We'll kidnap Steve, Jarvis and Ana and bring them with us. Maybe Nat can come too, for you. We'll have two witnesses each, and we can record it for our other friends. Come on, Bucky-babe. Please? I love your sleepy face too, and I need someone who knows how to use dishwashers. I always will."

"... yeah, okay. We'll elope." Tony let out a cheer, then rocketed off his lap. Bucky couldn't help but smile even as nervousness took root in his chest. Fuck, he still didn't have any geese and Tony probably wouldn't be amused if he had to use note cards to get through their vows. Maybe they could use standard ones? Yeah, that'd work. Then they could write their own for that vow renewal thing. That would give him time to panic and figure it the fuck out. Because just then he didn't have time to worry about that; he had something else to do while Tony worked on the logistics of their elopement the next day.

Bucky had some research to do.

Jarvis was going to want his geese.

~.~.~

'Kidnapping' their witnesses proved pretty simple. Jarvis had laughed and laughed when Bucky had presented him with a printed out receipt for three geese (a gander and two gooses) and five ducks (two drakes and three... lady ducks). The chicks would be delivered from a farm the next week. 'Geese do better with ducks as companions,' he had told the man seriously while Tony and the rest joined in on the laughter. 'They should all be happy with the pond at the Stark mansion, and I'll pay to feed them for a year'.

Since he no longer had a ring to buy, Bucky had the money to do it.

Tony had been the one to buy both rings after consulting Steve, who ratted Bucky's choice out. Tony had liked it a lot, so now they had two matching rings nestled in little ring boxes. One was tucked in Steve's pocket while Jarvis was in charge of the other. Ana had cried on and off during the whole trip to Cooperstown, which had made the other passengers on the plane a little nervous. Tony had wanted to charter the family jet, but Steve - the little shit - had pointed out that it might tip off his parents.

They arrived early enough in the afternoon that they could check in and then do a little sightseeing... which pretty much meant the Baseball Hall of Fame, since none of the others could drag Bucky or Steve away. Both of them had later apologized to their significant others with sweet kisses and promises that they would see other things the day after the wedding. Tony had been placated, but Nat - who Bucky adored now that he didn't find her so terrifying - had remained unimpressed.

The Landmark Inn was beautiful, the staff was friendly and helpful, and Bucky hardly had time to be nervous. Tony had agreed to use standard, traditional vows - he'd probably seen the panic in Bucky's eyes when he brought it up. In return, however, Bucky was expected to make a toast at dinner, which was fair but terrifying because Tony wouldn't let him buy any new note cards. Something about saving trees or something, Bucky hadn't really heard because he was busy scribbling things on a napkin.

The ceremony was sweet and simple and their small band of witnesses had cheered when the officiant declared them husband and husband. It was wonderful and sort of perfect despite Bucky's initial misgivings. It was nice to have this, actually, because their 'public' wedding would an Event, one that they would have to share with a lot of people who had no business being there. Sure Bucky kind of wished all their friends could be at this one, but Tony had found someone to record it. They'd have a viewing party or something when they got back.

Or they would have, at least, but then Tony got a phone call that changed everything.

~.~.~

When the phone rang, Tony and Bucky were in the middle of exchanging heated kisses. Tony was trying to convince him that they absolutely had time for a round of married sex before they went down to dinner. Bucky was having a hell of a lot of fun letting Tony try. He let out a quiet curse against Tony's mouth when Tony's ringtone interrupted the moment and didn't immediately let go of his _husband_ , he had a husband now. "Ignore it," he said quietly while trailing kisses down Tony's jaw. "They'll call back later."

"Wish I could, Bucky-hubby," Tony answered as he gently extracted himself from Bucky's hold. "But I kinda left a few people in the lurch, so I am duty bound to answer unless we're eating or having sex. Should have given in faster," he added with a wink. Once he had hold of his cell he answered it quickly. "Hello, you've got Tony Barnes on the line!" he chirped, making Bucky roll his eyes. The name thing was a bone of contention between them; Bucky would rather hyphenate so Tony could stay a Stark. "Yes, this is he, just got married is all. Who is this?"

Bucky had to watch as all the color drained from Tony's face without being able to hear the other end of the conversation. When his husband suddenly swayed hard enough that he stumbled to one side, he jumped forward to catch him. "Tony?" he whispered, then bit his lower lip when Tony waved him off. Instead of obeying the silent command completely, Bucky guided him to the bed and had him sit down. Deeply concerned, he then knelt before him and took Tony's free hand, massaging his palm.

"I don't understand," Tony eventually said, sounding like a child who was lost and afraid. "You're wrong. You have to be-- I don't _care_ what kind of identification was on them, you're _wrong_. So no, I'm not coming in. Because you're wrong and this is probably just Howard trying to get me to-- no there is not someone else you can speak with, because this is _bullshit_."

Tony's eyes were a little wild and his face was still ashen; this was obviously huge and shocking news. Bucky had a gut feeling that he knew what it was, and he took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to center himself. If he was right - and God above how he hoped he wasn't - Tony was going to need him. When he saw that his husband was about to hang up, Bucky reached up and carefully took the phone from him. "Hello, this is Tony's husband. What's going on?" He did his absolute best to keep his voice even, and kept contact with Tony the whole time he stood up to sit next to him.

As soon as he was there, Tony curled into his side and buried his face in Bucky's shoulder. He was shaking from head to toe, and there was a quiet, keening sound that kept trying to escape his throat. Tony's hands were clutching convulsively at Bucky's shirt and Bucky was pretty sure he might be starting to cry. All he could do was wrap an arm around Tony and hold him tightly as he stayed on the line.

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but Howard and Maria Stark were killed in a car accident about an hour ago," the man on the other end of the call said. Bucky shut his eyes and took another deep breath, holding Tony as tightly as he could. "The media is all over this, Mr. Barnes, and we wanted to make sure that Mr. Stark... Mr. Bar... your husband found out before it started getting broadcast all over the news and social media. We would have sent an officer, but we couldn't find verification as to your husband's whereabouts. I'm very sorry," he said again.

For a brief, bright second, Bucky hated him. Because Tony should have been told in person, and because the police should be able to keep the media from turning this into a circus. Because this was their _wedding day_ , and now it would only be an anniversary of grief for Tony who deserved a hell of a lot better. "I understand," he said instead of yelling the way he wanted, voice rough with emotion. "We're in Cooperstown. Do you need us to come in tonight, or can it wait for the morning?"

"Tomorrow will be fine. Again, I'm sorry to have to tell you and your husband like this. If you need, I can send an officer to whichever hotel you're at to put you in touch with local crisis counseling centers or--"

"No, thank you. We'll... when we get home we'll figure that out. I need to make another phone call and be with my husband. Is there anything else?"

"No. My condolences to both of you, Mr. Banes."

As soon as he hung up, Bucky tossed the phone onto the bed and pulled Tony into his lap so he could put both arms around him. "They're _lying_ ," Tony said with a voice choked by tears. "They have to be. We were just with them two days ago, Bucky. They can't be... mom can't be dead. She _can't_."

"Tony, I don't think they're lying. I'm so sorry sweetheart." Tony let out a sob, clinging as tightly as he could to Bucky, who could now feel Tony's tears, hot and frequent, falling against his neck. "I'm so sorry," he said again, at a loss. His mind was going in a hundred different directions - he needed to tell Jarvis and Steve, needed to get them packed so they could leave first thing in the morning, needed to cancel their dinner reservations, needed to get food so he could make sure Tony ate something - but he also didn't want to let go of Tony for even a single second.

Words were hard again, but for such a different reason.

"They can't be gone," Tony said again, trembling in Bucky's hold. "I... I just got married. They can't..." Another sob ripped itself free from Tony's chest, and he had started to rock in Bucky's lap to try and comfort himself. "I got married without them. Why didn't I just... if they had been _here_ , if I hadn't been so fucking selfish... Bucky..." As Tony began to weep in earnest, Bucky resettled his hold so he could run the fingers of one hand through Tony's hair. He let his husband cry into his neck as he rubbed Tony's back with his other hand and rocked them back and forth. Movement was soothing for Tony, and he thought his husband could use all the comfort he could get.

Neither one of them said anything for about fifteen minutes; Tony just cried, and Bucky just kept holding him. He let a few tears of his own fall, because even if he hadn't liked Maria or Howard very much, they were still Tony's parents. They were still family, and knowing that Tony's heart was breaking was devastating to him.

When the storm calmed a little, Bucky knew that he had to break the moment. The others would come looking if Bucky and Tony were late for dinner, or they might see the news any minute and come looking anyway. "Tony, sweetheart?" he started, trying to keep his voice soft and calm. Tony only snuffled and clung tighter, shaking his head. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but I need to call Jarvis and Steve to let them know. Do you want any of them to come to our room?"

Tony thought for a moment before shaking his head again, still refusing to lift his head or speak. Bucky didn't blame him. "Alright. Whatever you want sweetheart," he said, wanting to make sure Tony didn't think Bucky was judging the decision. He was a little surprised that Tony didn't want Jarvis, but he would never say that out loud. He kept one hand running up and down Tony's back as he grabbed for Tony's phone again. Through both calls, Tony whimpered continuously. Each small, quiet sound was like a knife to the heart, and soon he had tears running down his own cheeks in a steady stream.

Jarvis took the news with quiet stoicism, though from Ana's 'what's wrong, Edwin' he had to given some sign of distress. The butler's voice held a small tremor of emotion when he said 'I see', and then he immediately asked if they should come to see Tony. He had been as accepting of Tony's decision as Bucky was, which was nice - he wasn't up for a fight about it. Jarvis said to call if Tony needed anything, then hung up. Jarvis had worked for the Stark's for... God, Bucky didn't even know. He was in all of Tony's childhood stories, and he had been employed by Howard even before Tony was born. Bucky figured he needed time and room to do his own grieving.

Steve's immediate response was 'what can I do?' and Bucky had never loved his best friend more. He was able to delegate many of the tasks that needed to be done, which was a relief. Steve could cancel dinner but run out to get something for Tony and Bucky to eat later; he could book a flight for all of them back home, and he could call Rhodey, Pepper and their other close friends to let them know what had happened. Bucky knew that Steve was worried and hurting for Tony, and he also knew that when something bad happened in his life that Steve needed to be _doing_. If he could give his best friend and outlet and make Tony's load a little lighter in the same breath, Bucky was all for it.

By the time both calls were over, Tony had uncurled a little. He was staring straight ahead but probably wasn't seeing anything. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were streaked with tear stains. Tony's expression was a complete blank, but Bucky knew there had to be a hell of a lot going on beneath that placid surface. "I don't... really know what to say, Tony," he said quietly, figuring that was better than some cliche. "But I'm here for you, whatever you need. I'm so sorry sweetheart." Bucky slid his hand back in to Tony's hair, something that had always been a comfort for both of them.

"We shouldn't have done this," Tony said suddenly, voice too even. Bucky wasn't sure where that had come from, but he was pretty damn sure that another storm about to hit. "Eloping was a mistake. The only reason I married you was to get back at them," and okay, that hurt a little. "And now they're dead. My mom is dead, and it's because we did this."

Bucky didn't disagree out loud, because he knew grief was rarely rational. When his mother had passed, he had believed for a long time that it was his punishment for not going to college the way she had wanted. Arguing with Tony wasn't going to make him change his mind, and Tony needed to be able to express what he was feeling.

"My mom died because you let us do this," he added, a bit of anger starting to make itself known. That leap in logic was, again, a little fucking hurtful. What was worse was the way Tony roughly pushed Bucky's hand away from him. "You _knew_ I was angry, that I wasn't thinking clearly," Tony told him, fury mounting fast and hot. "You should have known better, and you shouldn't have... you took advantage of how mad I was at them." The punch Tony landed on Bucky's shoulder hurt like hell, and the second wasn't any softer. "Why did you let me do this?!"

It was so, so hard to try and keep hold of his own temper at the unfair accusations. Tony was upset, grieving - he didn't mean what he was saying. Bucky needed to let him get it out, that was all. So he didn't snap back, and he didn't try to keep hold of Tony when he shoved himself away and got to his feet. There was devastation underlying the anger in Tony's face, so Bucky needed to keep his own shit under control and let Tony react however he needed to.

"If we hadn't come here, if you hadn't _let_ us come here - fuck, Cooperstown was your idea, because that fucking hall of fame is here. If we had stayed closer to home, I could be there already making sure their bod--" Tony cut himself off, blinking furiously to stave off another round of tears. "I could be there taking care of them. Instead I'm stuck here in this stupid room because you couldn't just fucking elope in the city."

Unfair, unfair, unfair, part of Bucky's brain kept screaming. Tony had come to him with a list of choices - none of them had been in the city. Sure the Baseball Hall of Fame had been a factor, but Tony had put the fucking town on the list. Bucky bit down hard on his lower lip to keep from pointing that out. It was work to keep his hands from curling into fists, to let them just sit on his lap as he watched Tony. Tony didn't mean any of this, it was his grief, and Tony had every right to express it.

The tips he'd looked up when Steve had lost his ma might have good suggestions, but they sure as shit didn't make it any easier to keep his own feelings in check. This was about Tony, Tony needed him, and Bucky wasn't going to start an argument with Tony because his feelings were hurt.

"You should have told me no, Bucky. You should have put a stop to this. Or you should have said that my parents should be there - you fucking should have said that. I was angry with them, but I never wanted... they should have been here, and you didn't make that happen. My mom is dead because of you."

Bucky opened his mouth before snapping it closed, because nothing that left his lips just then would help the situation at all. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath to try and center himself, only to feel Tony shove at his shoulders a second later. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Tony demanded harshly, giving Bucky a second push. "Are you just... just going to sit there? You killed my mom and you're just going to fucking sit there and say nothing?"

Tony's continued accusations weren't only making him angry, they were also doing a number on his heart. It was easy to think that Tony didn't really mean it. Believing that and not letting them hurt felt impossible.

"I'm sorry that you lost her, Tony. I'm sorry they're both gone."

"That's it? You're _sorry_? Doesn't bring them back, now does it? They're gone, forever, and you're sorry. A lot of good that does me when this is your fault. You took advantage of how upset I was with them," Tony said again, and Bucky was afraid that maybe he was right. He had been the one saving up for a ring, after all. Maybe he should have fought harder to keep them from eloping. Maybe had had taken advantage a little. "This is your fault, and I can't believe that I said 'I do' to you today."

That one hit Bucky like a physical blow, and it was enough to finally make him flinch back under the force of Tony's wrath. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he whispered, voice hoarse.

"Stop saying that!" Tony's shout was closer to a wail, and even as angry and hurt as he was Bucky still longed to wrap him up in a hug. "Sorry doesn't mean a damn thing! I can't... I can't be here. I got married without my mom and dad and now they're dead. This?" Tony yanked off his ring and held it in front of Bucky's face, his hand trembling in the air. "This didn't happen. I didn't... I didn't get married without them. I didn't. We'll get it annulled after I start planning their fucking funeral."

If his whole body hadn't gone numb, Bucky could have caught the ring when Tony flung it at his chest. Instead it bounced off and fell to the floor, rolling back toward Tony's feet. For a second, regret flashed on Tony's face, and Bucky thought... _hoped_ that Tony would pick it back up and put it back on his finger. That wasn't what happened though.

What happened was that Tony gave him one last shove, then turned and stormed out of their room. The slam of the door reverberated in the air before a silence heavy enough to smother him descended. Bucky was still staring down at the ring Tony had thrown away like so much trash, trying desperately to believe that Tony hadn't meant it.

No matter what Tony wanted to believe, they had gotten married. It had been wonderful and kind of perfect, because at the end of it Tony was his husband. They had been so _happy_ just an hour ago. Tony had been smiling and laughing, had promised that later he was going to smash something in Bucky's face even if they didn't end up with a cake. They had been making plans for a honeymoon, with Tony insisting they needed to leave the country while Bucky lobbied hard to go to Malibu.

Tony had been trying to convince him that they had time for a round of married sex before dinner. Bucky had been having fun letting him try.

Bucky didn't realize that he was weeping until he tried to breathe and couldn't through the force of his tears. They were pouring down his cheeks and leaving hot, itchy skin in their wake. He was shaking too, heart pounding and stomach feeling like lead. It felt like he couldn't breathe, couldn't get enough air, but he kept trying to suck in ragged breaths as he slipped off the bed and went to the floor. Once he had Tony's discarded ring in his fist, he leaned back against the bed and lost himself to his grief.

He was still crying when Steve showed up an hour later; a member of the inn staff had to let his best friend in because Bucky just couldn't get off the floor. As soon as Steve saw him, he made a wounded noise and came straight over. Steve's arms were warm and familiar as they wrapped around him; it was the second best thing Bucky could have asked for just then. He didn't think Tony would be coming back any time soon to hold him instead, so he was going to have to settle for it.

Steve wasn't so good with silence, so as he held Bucky tightly and rubbed his back he was talking. Everything he said was a bullshit cliche, so Bucky didn't focus on the words, just on the soothing tone of his voice. Once Bucky cried himself out, Steve gently helped him to his feet, then removed Bucky's tie and jacket for him before guiding him onto the bed. Once Bucky was laying down, Steve even took his shoes off for him.

"Tony's with Jarvis," he said as he ran a hand through Bucky's hair. "He's safe and being taken care of. Jarvis called and said I should come check on you."

"Tony doesn't want to be married to me anymore. What am I gonna do, Stevie?" Now that he wasn't crying, he had a terrible headache, his voice was scratchy and hoarse, and he was exhausted. "He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Buck. He's just..." Steve struggled to find words, and Bucky closed his eyes instead of watching. Steve was probably all set to defend his honor, because that was the way his best friend was. If he didn't watch himself, he was going to get the blond upset enough that he would go charging off to confront Tony right away.

"I know," he said, not voicing the fear that Tony had absolutely meant all the horrible things he had said. "I know."

When Steve was upset or grieving he needed to be _doing_ , so he went and got Bucky a glass of water and made him drink it. Then he called Nat to have her bring some food, coaxed another glass of water and some aspirin down Bucky's throat. When Nat and the food arrived, Bucky mostly picked at it until Nat got fed up with him, swore in Russian, then ordered him to eat. That got him through half the food, and both his friends relented.

The both of them were great friends, because they didn't leave Bucky alone to get lost in his head. When Bucky slid beneath the covers he was curled up against Natasha's side with his head on her chest. Steve was at his back with an arm thrown over both of them, and it was all comforting and nice. Nat began to run her fingers through his hair, perfectly manicured nails sometimes brushing over his scalp. She started to sing quietly in Russian, voice unpracticed and husky but still somehow perfect. It lulled Bucky to sleep slowly, until blessed darkness took away his pain.

Bucky had gotten married, and it was the worst day of his life.

~.~.~

"Buck, the plane leaves in two hours. You need to get outta that bed." Steve sounded frustrated, but Bucky didn't care. He wasn't going to do shit, because he felt awful. He never wanted to leave the bed, never wanted to deal with the ring he still had in his tightly closed fist or the one still on his left ring finger. Bucky didn't want to deal with facing the day without Tony, didn't want to deal with the fallout from the fight or the death of Tony's parents. He hated that he mostly wanted to give Tony the space he needed, hated how concerned he was for his soon-to-be-not husband. Bucky hated that he couldn't help but want to keep his own feelings from taking away from Tony's need to grieve.

He was only a distraction, one Tony didn't need. Tony didn't want to be married anymore and blamed Bucky for the death of his parents. Bucky didn't think they would be able to stay together after Tony got his annulment, so their relationship was over. He didn't need to hang around Tony and weigh him down, not now. Not when Tony had Jarvis and Ana to comfort him and help him through.

Bucky wasn't going home because he wasn't sure he still had one, and he wasn't getting out of bed until the inn staff made him.

There was something going on at the door, but Bucky couldn't bring himself to care. He rolled over, away from the soft noises, and curled up into the fetal position. After a moment of thought, he stuck his head under one of the pillows. He wasn't dealing with any of this shit, and Steve could go fuck himself if he thought he was forcing Bucky to do anything.

Someone sat on the bed, making it dip down and rolling Bucky just a little in that direction. It was probably Steve again, he thought crossly, scooting away a little. Or maybe he was trying to get Nat to do his dirty work. He didn't care how much they stroked his back or cuddled up to him in an effort to coax him into engaging with the world again, he wasn't going to do it. The world could go fuck itself right along with Stevie.

The body that pressed itself to his back wasn't Steve's though. It wasn't Natasha's either, and Bucky went stiff as he realized who it was. Tony was trembling as he pressed close and curled one arm around Bucky's waist. His hand came to rest over Bucky's heart, and he could _breathe_ again... but he was also shaking as hard as Tony was. He felt lips press against the back of his neck, followed by hot tears, and fuck, he was crying again too. So many tears, so many hurts, and Bucky didn't know what was going on just then. "Tony?"

"I'm so, so sorry," Tony said against his skin; Bucky felt the words more than heard them. "I didn't... I wasn't... _Bucky_." There was no part of him that didn't react to the obvious distress in Tony's voice, and the idea of not comforting Tony didn't even cross his mind. He pulled his head out from under the pillow and rolled over to wrap his arms around Tony and tucked his husband's head under his chin. Tony gave a sound that was part sob, part relief and part whimper; Bucky made almost the same sound back and ran one hand over Tony's back.

The other was still clenched around the discarded ring.

"I know," he whispered brokenly. "I know. It's okay - I've got you." Because he did - even if Tony didn't want to be married anymore, Bucky wouldn't abandon him to deal with his parents' death alone. Not if Tony wanted him there. "I've got you. Whatever you need, sweetheart."

"I don't deserve you," Tony said on a sob, fingers grabbing hold of Bucky's shirt and gripping tightly. "God, I don't fucking deserve you. Bucky, I didn't... I was just... they're _gone_ Bucky. They're gone and I don't... I don't know what to do."

"That's okay, Tony. It's okay that you don't know what to do. I'll help you figure it out, I promise. Even if you don't..." he felt his breath hitch, the ring his hand feeling like a brand against his skin. "No matter what, you've got me. I'm here, and anything you need from me--"

"Why are you being so... so..." Tony keened and pressed his face against Bucky's throat, taking a few ragged breaths of his own. "I don't deserve you," he said again, voice weak. "I'm... I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it. Bucky, I didn't mean it."

"I know," Bucky replied, even if he wasn't sure that he did. Because maybe he should have fought harder for them not to get married right away, or for Tony's parents to be invited. Maybe Tony should leave him and get the marriage annulled. Maybe Tony had been right. "It's alright."

"It's _not_. I hurt you because I was hurting and that's not... it's not okay. I don't--"

"Hey," Bucky didn't like to interrupt, but he didn't want Tony to work himself up. He carefully pulled away enough that he could cup Tony's jaw in one hand, gently forcing Tony to look up at him. Tony looked _awful_ , with deep bruises under his bloodshot eyes. He looked wan and haggard - he probably hadn't slept at all, had probably spent the whole night crying on and off. "You just lost your parents, Tony," he said quietly, sweeping his thumb over Tony's skin. "Lashing out is... I get it, okay? I'm not angry, sweetheart, and we're... we're okay."

That might be a lie, but it was one he needed to tell and one Tony needed to hear. They needed to get through the next few days. Once the edge of Tony's grief was dulled a little, maybe they could talk about it. Or if Tony still wanted to not be married anymore, they didn't have to talk about it. Bucky would give him what he wanted, then quietly leave his life. He just wanted to give Tony what he needed.

"We've got a flight we need to catch," Bucky said quietly, searching Tony's eyes. "I meant to pack last night, but--"

"I've got everything packed," Natasha said as she sat on the foot of the bed. "We're ready to leave when you are." There was compassion in her voice, but something dangerous in her eyes when she looked at Tony. Nat had taken a shine to Bucky once he stopped being scared of her. The idea of _her_ defending Bucky against Tony was was more terrifying than if Steve did it. "We need to leave soon if we're going to get through airport security in time."

Tony nodded before biting his lower lip, fingers spasming before they went still again. "Can I have a second alone with Bucky?"

Nat studied both of them for a moment before finally nodding. She had to pretty much drag a scowling Steve out of the room, but they took Tony and Bucky's bags with them. They would probably load the car Tony had rented and make sure Jarvis and Ana were set to go before making Bucky and Tony join them.

"I didn't mean any of it, Bucky," Tony said again, one hand lifting so he could run his fingers over Bucky's cheek. The touch felt hesitant and reverent, like Tony maybe thought he wasn't allowed. Like he had thought Bucky wouldn't let Tony touch him ever again. To help erase that thought, Bucky brought his own hand - the one fisted around the ring - and pressed it over Tony's.

"I know, Tony, and it's okay. I understand."

"I don't want to do this without you."

"You won't have to," Bucky promised, trying to give Tony a smile. He was pretty sure it failed miserably, but Tony tried to give one back so it had been enough. "I'm here for as long as you want me."

"I want you forever," Tony said quickly, a bit of panic crossing his face. "I know I said... but I didn't mean..." Bucky would do anything to keep Tony from crying over him, so when Tony's lower lip trembled and tears started to fill his eyes, Bucky took action. Leaning forward, he pressed a soft, careful kiss to Tony's lips. Some of the tension immediately left Tony's body, and he gave a quiet sigh that sounded happy. "Bucky..." he whispered, reeling him in for another kiss, one that didn't end as quickly as the first. That led to another, and another - they stayed careful and tender, both of them unsure in a way that they hadn't been since the very start of their relationship.

There was a plane to catch and funerals to plan, so after a minute or so he gave Tony one last kiss before pressing their foreheads together. "Hey. I love you, Tony, and we're gonna get through this, okay? I know you're hurting, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. You're not going to lose me too, okay? I'm here for you."

Tony nodded and let out another sigh before he reluctantly left Bucky's embrace. He stood up and Bucky followed; both of them were still in their button-up shirts and fancy slacks, and both of them were horribly rumpled. Bucky couldn't bring himself to care though, or worry about what the airport staff or other passengers might think. What he cared about was the way Tony shyly linked their fingers together. "Can I... do you think I could have my ring back?"

"Of course," Bucky said, voice hoarse again. Uncurling his fist was a little difficult, but he managed. He had to let go of Tony's hand to slip the ring back onto Tony's finger where it belonged. Once he had, he took Tony's left hand in both of his before bringing it to his chest where he could cradle it against his heart. "We're gonna be okay," he said, feeling more certain about it this time.

Tony took a deep breath, nodded, then leaned in for another kiss. Bucky gave it to him happily, and when they separated again he managed a much better smile. "I love you," Tony told him quietly as they linked fingers again. "I don't deserve you, but I love you."

Arguing with Tony still probably wouldn't do any good, so Bucky didn't bother. "I love you too. We better get downstairs before they come looking for us. Will you try to get some sleep on the plane?" As they walked to the door, Bucky ran his fingers over Tony's knuckles, worried about how tired Tony seemed. "When we get back to the city we'll get through what we need to at the coroners, and then get you home for another nap." Tony liked plans, and Bucky hoped that while Steve resorted to doing, Tony might go to planning. If he was wrong, if Tony responded negatively, Bucky would just have to change his approach. "Tonight we'll get a list together of what needs to happen, and I'll handle as much of it as I can. As much as you want me to."

"Will you nap with me?"

"Yeah, Tony. Whatever you need."

They still had a long road ahead of them when it came to dealing with the loss of Tony's parents. There were more rough patches ahead of them too, Bucky knew that. Maybe Tony would lash out again, or maybe Bucky wouldn't be able to be patient with Tony all the time. There were a million and one things that could go wrong, and the media would probably be there to document a lot of it.

But his ring was back on Tony's finger and they loved each other. They would be okay. They could do this.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this was really different than the lighthearted first story. :'D But it was still fun to write even if it made me cry a little! I'm going to keep the first story at a ? number of chapters, because I am hoping to add some more fluffy, happy things to it. <3
> 
> Feel free to yell at me about this fic or anything else over on my [Tumblr](http://tahlreth.tumblr.com), or leave a comment here.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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